Because I Have To
by smartkid37
Summary: Someone on Team Gibbs is forced into a personal decision they don't want to make. Who? Why? What is done about it? Follows "Mending Fences"
1. She Can't Be Serious!

**A/N: Set a couple of years after the events of "The Dog Did It" & "Or Did He" & "Mending Fences"**

* * *

Abigail Sciuto had gotten to know and love the people on this team. She loved every single one of them; wouldn't know how to live without any of them. They'd weathered a lot of storms together as a team. Over the years she'd been through so many emotional upheavals from them getting hurt; lost; kidnapped; shot or missing. And while she should have developed a thicker skin about these possibilities; somehow; she hadn't been able to; as if in doing so; she would become less invested in them as a person.

She'd finally reached a point where she'd felt a personal decision had to be made. So, while she waited for her expected audience to arrive; as she'd asked him to; when she'd called him to tell him she had something she needed to talk to him about; she rallied some internal backbone to go with the conversation she was about to have. This was gonna be tough; but it had to be done. After all, she couldn't take it anymore. Enough was enough.

Having been summoned to the lab; he bit his tongue; held his frustration at bay; and went to go see what it was the lab rat wanted. They had no current case; so she had no results about anything. So, whatever it was; had to be personal and he really didn't want to have a personal conversation with her; unless it was about herself; that, he could muddle through. He hoped she'd be quick about it;' he didn't want bossman gettin' pissed about him missing from the squad room without a better excuse than this.

Gibbs returned to the squad room with fresh coffee and the wherewithall to get through the dreaded paperwork backlog. Thankfully, it had been a slow week; and no one was out with injury or illness; and where the heck was his agent? Seeing the empty desk that was not supposed to be empty sent just enough irritation flowing through him to cause him to send questioning glances to the two remaining agents; silently asking them where their missing teammate was.

"Abby called; told him she needed to talk to him." Ziva answered his silent but angry and unmistakeable question. Now, not only irritated; but unhappy with Abby; Gibbs turned on his heel; prepared to fetch his agent back; and let the goth know she could not just keep doing this; pulling them down there at any given time; just to talk to them. That's what breaks and lunchtime; and God forbid; after work; was for.

The two remaining agents dug into their assigned stacks of backlogged work; equally unwilling to be on the recieving end of bossman's ire. They were both curious as to what was going on with Abby. She'd seemed unsettled; antsy; not like herself lately.

* * *

He never felt so angry or betrayed or hurt or unsure of what to do; before in his life; than he did at this moment. His mind was still reeling from Abby's unbelievable words. It was so much more than he'd ever thought possible from her. She'd had her moments of being chidish; hurtful; selfish; but this? This was pure unadulterated meanness; no matter what spin she'd out on it. The trouble was; he didn't know what he was supposed to do about it. He needed to think; so, he headed to the stairwell.

* * *

It had been a very, very long time since he'd felt this angry. Especially, at Abby. Who the hell did she think she was? Nobody had the right to make that kind of demand on someone else. What the hell was wrong with her? What the hell was he supposed to do about this? Did she really think she could get away with something like this; that it would work? Frustrated and needing to think; he headed to the stairwell.

* * *

Abby was in tears. Her plan had backfired. All she wanted was to explain what was going on and ask for his cooperation. Not only had he flatly denied her what she'd considered to be almost a common curteousy; but he'd had the gall to get angry with her about it! How dare he fight her on this? Damn him for making this so damn difficult!

He returned to the squad room angry and more than a little distracted. See the empty desk; he became concerned; until he took a second to recall the conversation he'd just overheard. Knowing it was a private conversation; but not quite so private; as her door wasn't locked and no precautions had been made to keep it private; he kept it to himself; choosing instead to focus on getting some coffee from the break room while he still had the chance.

Walking back to the sqaud room; no one seemed to be interested in anything other than what they were working on; and all desks were occupied but his.

Gibbs cell pnone rang and as he answered it in his typical "Yeah. Gibbs." style; everyone tensed; sensing this was a case.

Bossman hung up his phone with the expected. "Gear up! Missing Naval Officer; classified intel possibly missing along with him; let's go! McGee; gas the truck! "

The day passed with the successful conclusion of the case; as the Officer had merely tied one on at an out of town hotel; and never called into work. By the time things had settled down; the day was almost over. The squad room was comfortably noisy with multiple keyboards being typed on; case reports needing to be done.

Finally; Gibbs was alone in the squad room with the pile of case reports to go over; sitting on his desk. Reaching for yet another one; he flipped it open; only to become frozen in shock. Inside the case file; sitting on top of the final report; was a piece of paper that didn't belong there. This piece of paper made Gibbs' blood boil.

This was not happening!


	2. Ticking off the Boss

He'd made his decision; after thinking hard about it all day. The ride to the supposed scene of the crime; which; turned out to be no crime at all; the ride back to the Yard; the time he spent typing his case report; finding the space through it all; in his head to work and think seperately; and every spare minute of the day. Yeah; he'd thought it through. It was the only decision he could make. He just hoped that one day he could learn to live with it; but he seriously doubted it. It was one he did not one to be making. Never in a million years did he expect to be in this position. He hated every minute of this.

* * *

Gibbs was beyond livid. Picking up his cell phone; he called his agent.

"Boss?" The strained voice betrayed the fact that this guy was not doing well; hadn't done this on the spur of the moment. But, then again; looking at him in the course of the day; as Gibbs had; he'd seen that this had been wearing his agent down; weighing on him like a ton of bricks and he was seriously tempted to write a letter of reprimand in Abby's file for this. This was damaging to the team; to the individuals on the team; and even to herself; even if she didn't see it as such.

**"Get your ass back here; now!"** Gibbs made no attempt to hide his fury.

"Yes, Boss." the answer was timid and quivering; loaded with the expectation of a thorough reaming out. _Good; maybe he'd be able to turn this around yet._

Much faster than he'd expected; his agent reappeared in front of him. Apparently, the young man hadn't even left the Yard.

"Where were you?" Gibbs asked in pure curiosity.

"The gym."

"You got something you need to tell me?" Gibbs demanded.

"No, Boss. I wish I could; but I can't. You'll just have to trust me on this. I can't explain it. I just need this to go this way."

"So, you're willing to just resign?"

"Boss, please; don't push this. I know that's a lot to ask; for you to accept this without an explanation; but I can't explain it. I NEED to resign."

Gibbs got it. His agent didn't want this. He felt forced into it. Looking at the Letter of resignation again; he saw that it was dated effective the following Monday morning. _This is not going down like this; not on my watch_; Gibbs silently fumed. _That conversation between these two should not have brought him to this point! What the hell is going on here? It's not like him not to talk to me. Whatever it is must be really serious if he can't talk to me about it. He needs time to think about this._

"You take the weekend to think this through. First thing Monday morning; you get your ass in here; and we'll talk about this. No decision will be made until then; you got me?" Gibbs demanded.

"Yes, Sir." came the reluctant answer.

* * *

Monday morning dawned bright and cheery. It was too cheery for him. Knowing this would be the last day of a job he thoroughly enjoyed doing. Damn her for making this difficult! What right did she have tol back him into the corner like this? But, what the hell could he do about it.? Because he refused to let someone else make the sacrifice; knowing the team wouldn't want that person gone; hurt real bad. It hurt so bad; he only found the strength to go into work; because Gibbs called him bright and early.

_"Don't even think of not coming in here! Time's a wastin; get your ass in here!"_; Bossman was angry already and it wasn't even 0700 yet!

When he arrived at his desk; on time; he was surprised to find the squad room empty and a note on his desk.

_*******************  
Meeting_

_Conference Room A. NOW!_

_G.  
********************_

_Damn; he was sure in a lot of trouble over this_. He could feel his anger at Abby rising up again and beginning to churn. _His last days here; with people he loved like family; and he was gonna be the bad guy; one they wouldn't even say goodbye to or miss because of this!_

Upon arrival in the Conference Room; He was shocked to find the whole team here; minus Palmer; who; apparently, had a seminar class this morning. Everyone smiled at him; almost like there was nothing wrong; except Abby; who glared at him from across the room; and Gibbs who looked pissed at everyone.

As he cleared the door; and took a seat; next to the head of the table; Gibbs closed the door; with a slam. Now that he had everyone's attention; bossman wasted no time as he immediately looked at him and asked him:

"You change your mind?" his eyes daring the young man to act like he didn't understand exactly what Gibbs was talking about.

"No, Boss; I haven't."

"Are you gonna tell them or are you gonna make me do it?"

"No, I'll do it." the young man said quietly; as he sat up straighter and looked at each of his team members in turn ; except Abby; his family; "I'm resigning from NCIS; effective today."

You could have heard a pin drop; for all of thirty seconds. Then the room exploded in noisy objections; outrage; indraawn breath and rising fury. All except the silence from across the room. In the midst of the sudden chaos; that silence was deafening.

Gibbs gave them all of a minute to get it all out before he called them all to order with his whistle. Turning to Abby he said:

"Now, are you gonna tell them why; or are you gonna make me do it?"


	3. Oh, Yes She Did

_"Now, are you gonna tell them why; or are you gonna make me do it?"_

_

* * *

_

Abby looked crushed. Gibbs had never turned on her like this before. But, then again; she'd never gone to such lengths to get what she wanted before; either. It took her a long couple of strained silent minutes to work up her courage. Knowing that every eye and everyone' attention was now focused on her; and now everyone knew she had something to do with this; an event none of them wanted; she hadn't wanted it to come to this. Why the hell couldn't he just give her what she wanted, anyway? This did nothing to help her find her backbone; which seemed to have suddenly evaded her.

**"NO!** **I resigned so this wouldn't happen!"** having risen to his feet; the young man sent a devastated; desperate plea for understanding to his boss and then bolted from the room.

Gibbs looked at Abby; anger radiating off him in waves; before he got up and left; his agent was more important than trying to comprehend anything else right now. Already, the young man was nowhere to be seen. Once again; he called him.

_"Boss, Please! Leave it alone!"_ was the quite unexpected yet desperate plea given when the young man answered the phone.

"I just wanna talk to you. Let's get some coffee." Gibbs offered.

_"Boss?"_ came the shocked question in response.

"Meet me in the break room." Gibbs quietly instructed; not wanting this chance to talk to his agent to slip through his fingers.

"_I'm already there_."

"Wait there."

_"Okay."_

Several minutes later; the two met up and silently began fixing their coffees.

"Talk to me." Gibbs instructed; breaking the strained quietness. "Where did this come from? I know you don't want this So, why do it?" Gibbs pushed.

"Boss, I already told you; I can't explain it."

"Let me rephrase the question. "I already know what you two fought about; I heard every bit of it when I came down to the lab on Friday morning to find you. Now, I'm asking you; where did this come from?"

"I dunno, Boss. I guess she just decided it was high time she didn't have to worry about my safety anymore. Like telling me she was in love with me again gave her the right to make decisions for me."

"She did what?"

"Yeah; came as a shock to me, too."

So, why are you letting her make this decision?"

"What choice do I have?"

"Did I miss something here? Why is there a choice about your job at stake in the first place?"

"Apparently whatever you think you heard; wasn't everything. You missed the ultimatum she dropped on me. It's not something I want to rat her out about. That's why I just decided to make it easier on everyone."

"You resigning does not make it easier on everyone, McGee! Now, what the hell was her ultimatum?" Gibbs demanded

"Boss, please don't make me be the one to tell you. Get her to tell you, please!"

Gibbs was brought up short by the continued desperation in Tim's voice. The fact that he had managed to build a strong bond of trust with this young man since that awful case with Jethro, the dog; that had almost cost the team this agent; weighed heavily on Gibb' heart. If Tim was begging not to have to tell him something; then he was damn well gonna respect his wish.

"All right. But you're not going anywhere!" Gibbs declared in his "no arguing with me" tone.

Frankly, Tim was thrilled for Gibbs' being in his corner; even if it was temporary. He knew that as soon as Gibbs talked to Abby; he'd be history. Yeah, sure; he and Gibbs were a lot closer now; then they had been when he first came to the team. But, this was Abby; they're were talking about and when push came to shove; they all knew that Abby would be the last one ever given the heave-ho from Gibbs.

"Yes, Boss." Tim answered with such overwhelming relief in his tone that Gibbs' heart ached for the angst that the young man had just put himself through on Abby's account.

Patting the young man on the shoulder; Gibbs headed back to the conference room. He wanted answers and he wanted them now!

* * *

Back in the Conference Room; Abby was being treated to a room full of stares; angry stares; although, Ducky was doing his best to tone his down.

After a long period of tense silence; Tony decided to break it. "What did you do, Abby?" he asked. "Why the hell would Probie just up and quit over something you did? It had to be pretty damn bad; Probie loves this job!"

"Abby, would would cause you to want him to resign?" Ziva asked in concern.

"Abigail; you know, Jethro would not have called us all in here together; if he did not feel we had a right to know. What on earth happened?" Ducky's concern was for Abby; since she was present; and since he knew that Jethro would most certainly have caught up with Timothy and be demanding answers; or at least listening to the young man.

Again; the air was filled with a strained silence that seemed to last forever.

"I told him that I love him and I want him back." Abby admitted finally.

"Abby, you _cannot _tell me that this is why he is quitting! There's _got_ to be more to it than that! It would take a hellofa lot to get him to give up a job he loves; Abby! You _owe_ us the truth; and as Ducky pointed out; apparently, even Gibbs thinks so. **So spill it; now**!" Tony was getting more angry by the minute. Surrogate sister often pulled stuff to get her way; but this; was going too far; if it had Gibbs angry enough to call a meeting and demand answers from her? Oh, yeah; it had to be bad! Especially when you add in the fury bossman had looked at her with before he tore up outta here to chase Tim down! That stuff just didn't happen for little stuff. Yeah; this had to be major!

"Well, no. That wasn't all." She admitted coyly.

"Abigail! Just spit it out!" Ducky was losing patience. It wasn't very often that Jethro was this angry at the young woman; so it had to be serious; and Ducky wanted to hear it before it was too late to salvage Timothy's job or the young man's relationship with his boss; that both boss and agent had worked hard to strengthen over the last two years.

"I told him that I couldn't handle never knowing if he was gonna get hurt out in the field; or not come home; so ..."

"Abby! Spit. It. Out! What. Did. You. Say. To. Him.?" Tony was seriously getting pissed.

"Thatifheidin'ttransferoffGibbs'teamIwould!"

**"Come again?"** Tony's disbelief was half hope that he hadn't heard what he thought he'd just heard.

"You heard me." Abby tried unsuccessfully to manuver out of saying it outright.

"No. I didn't. Grow up, Abby! What did you tell him?" Tony's measured tone resounded with anger he wasn't even trying to control. No damn wonder bossman was so pissed!

"I told him that if he didn't transfer off this team; then I would!"

**"**_And here, I thought** I** treated him like crap_**!"** Tony exclaimed

_"Oh, Abigail!"_ Ducky amonished in horror.

Ziva was so angry she was speechless. All she could do was glare at the lab rat. What she really wanted to do; besides head slap the young woman; was go find McGee. But, knowing Gibbs had made such a quick and angry exit; it was for certain; that McGee was already being spoken with.

**"So, what; you just expected him to happily crawl off into another department just so you wouldn't have to worry about his safety anymore?"** Tony asked in outrage, after he'd taken a minute to admit to himself that he had heard her correctly. **"What's the matter, Abby; didn't he tell you he'd take you back this time? He wise up on you? Tell you he couldn't risk things ending badly between you again? These last two years of solid friendship aren't enough for you anymore? Huh? Is that it? You can't have him at home; so you don't want him around on the job either? Didn't you learn your lesson when we almost lost him two years ago?"**

**"It wasn't supposed to turn out like this!"** Abby hollered back at him**. "He wasn't supposed to resign!"**

"Abigail; what is it you expected him to do with your ulitmatum?" Ducky inserted more calmly but just as firmly. While he understood Anthony's fury as well as Ziva's outraged silence; the M.E. knew this situation needed to be diffused quickly; even as more answers were needed. "It sounds like either choice he made; to date you again or not; you were forcing him to leave Gibbs' team."

"Well, yeah; Ducky. I can't deal with the thought of him getting hurt or not coming back to us at all. That one time was more than enough to last a lifetime." Abby whined. "I mean don't get me wrong, I worry about all of you and don't want to lose any of you or see any of you get hurt. But; it's different with Tim. I love him. "

"I don't buy it. There's gotta be more to this than you're lettin on!" Tony exclaimed; now octaves quieter; but still so pissed he was seeing red. "What is it you can't tell us, Abby?"

**"SHUT UP, Tony!" **With a sudden flash of defiance; Abby turned to flounce from the room; only to be brought up short by Gibbs.

Having come back in; intent on getting his answers; he'd taken up a vantage point, leaning against the open doorway. Consequently; he'd heard everything he'd needed to hear; firsthand; everything his loyal; kindhearted; honest and faithful agent had been willing to resign over. All because he hadn't been willing to lay the this painful realization at Gibbs' feet.

His angel had fallen off her pedestal. What's more; she'd seriously crushed her halo.


	4. Hidden Truths

A/N: Short chapter; serves a purpose. I apologise for the delay. Had to finish the preceding storyline first.

* * *

It didn't take any of them but a few seconds to realize Gibbs had heard the entire explosion and subsequent discussion. To say he looked pissed; would be the understatment of the year. "I want to talk to Abby." Gibbs' tone was deceptively calm. They all knew this was just his way of relaying just how pissed he truely was.

"Jethro, where is Timothy?" Ducky asked in concern; as he moved toward the door.

"Sent him out for coffee, Duck. Told him to check in with you when he gets back." Gibbs answered quietly in a tone that let them all know he was still watching out for the young man in question.

"Boss; you don't need us for _anything_ right now, right?" Tony asked earnestly; obviously with a game plan of his own in mind.

Knowing exactly what his Senior Field Agent was asking for; he hid a smile and answered him. "No, DiNozzo; I don't. Go on!"

"Thanks, Boss!" Tony bolted from the room; fully intent on reaching his destination in record time.

"Tony!" Gibbs stopped him in his tracks.

As Tony backtracked to where Gibbs stood; just outside the door of the conference room; he got a weird feeling in the pit of his stomach. _What was wrong?_

"Boss?"

"Put the frat brother away for this one, DiNozzo. Bring on the Big Brother, hmm?" Gibbs quietly and respectfully requested.

"Sure, Boss. Was plannin on it." Tony agreed and defended his intentions.

"Okay, Tony." Gibbs tone allowed a sliver of aplogy to be heard. Tony's relationship with McGee had grown a lot in the last two years, so Gibbs wasn't really concerned about it. He patted the young man on the shoulder and turned back into the room.

* * *

Gibbs closed the door to the conference room quietly; too quietly; considering the mood he had to be in. Abby was now almost scared.

As he sat down at the head of the table; with her on his right; he looked at her closely. Seeing how upset she was; but not knowing why; whether it was because she had caused such an uproar; because she'd forced Tim into a decision he didn't want to make; because he had heard everything she'd said or because she knew he was royally pissed at her.

He allowed her a good five minutes to pull herself and her thoughts together. For five golden, silent minutes, Gibbs held in his temper and worked to filter how he was going to deal with her about this. Finally, he couldn't wait any longer.

"Abby. I need you to talk to me." He told her calmly. It was taking every bit of his self control to hold his anger back. She wouldn't talk to him if he was sprouting anger at her.

Abby looked at him with doubt.

"Let her rip." Gibbs said encouragingly.

"I can't!" Abby cried.

"Do you _want_ a letter of reprimand in your file?" Gibbs asked in frustration.

* * *

Tony bolted down the hall; now having to make even more time up. It took some fancy footwork and some near flying speed; but the end results were worth the full use of his college Phys Ed. Major; as he located McGee and was even able to add more coffees to the order.

"Tony, what are you doing here?" Tim asked in surprise; after all, it was the middle of the work day.

"Looking for you." came the honest answer.

"Why?" Tim couldn't quite mask the worry in his voice

"Thought you could use a friend." Tony's genuine answer was a relief to Tim,; since he'd been expecting some sort of bad news.

"Thanks, Tony."

"Wanna tell me what's goin on?"

"I can't Tony. If I can't tell Gibbs; I can't tell you; either. I appreciate your concern though."

"Probie, Abby told us about her ultimatum."

"She did?"

"Oh, yeah; she did; after we ganged up on her. Even told us why she did it!

"I still can't tell Gibbs."

"Don't have to, Probie. He was standin right behind her when she spit it all out at us."

"Really? So he heard it straight from her? Good!"

"That's what this whole resigning b.s. is about?" Tony asked almost quietly; with enough Senior Field Agent in his tone; Tim knew it wasn't worth the trouble to not answer him.

"Tony, think about it! If she'd given Gibbs the choice; let's face it; his little angel would not have been the one given the boot. I'm not saying he wants me to leave either. I know he doesn't. But, this way; I saved him from having to make the choice in the first place."

"Well that certainly explains it." Tony said dryly.

"Explains what?"

"Why I haven't seen Gibbs this pissed at Abby since; well never. But the last time I saw him even close to this pissed at her was when he heard everything your sister reamed her out for in the hospital two years ago."

"Yeah, it has been a long time since he's been this pissed." Tim agreed.

"You carry some of the blame here, Probie. It's not just Abby he's pissed at. He probably hasn't been this pissed at you in an even longer time."

"I know, Tony. I should have talked to him about it, but what the hell was I supposed to tell him? How was I supposed to explain the position she put me in?"

"Well, at least it's Abby's manipulation that's saved you from being at the top of his list; this time. He knows you handled it the only way you thought you had available to you."

"Thank heaven for small favors, huh?" Tim attempted to throw humor that he didn't feel; into the conversation.

"Something else is going on here, Probie. This is waaayyy too much of a sink or swim decision for it to only be about her being afraid of you getting hurt or not coming back from the field. As long as you've been here; and it just now gets this serious?"

"Yeah, Tony, I don't get it either. I'll tell you one thing; I damn sure don't appreciate it!"

"So, are you gonna sic that little sister of yours on her?" Tony joked.

"Don't tempt me!" Tim growled.

* * *

Ziva had calmly walked out with Ducky; accompanying him to Autopsy since there was nothing to do in the squad room at the moment.

"Ziva, are you all right, my dear?" Ducky asked in concern.

"Ducky, I do not think I have been this upset with Abby in a long time." Ziva stated.

"I find myself in the same position, my dear." Ducky admitted as he breathed out a sigh of frustration.

In companionable silence; each lost in their own thoughts; they drank their tea.

* * *

"You'ld seriously sic your sister on Abby for this?" Tony asked in amazement as he and Tim walked back to the office.

"Tony, I've never; _ever _been more pissed at her!" Tim exclaimed; letting his aggravation out in his tone.

"Not even with the whole nightmare over Jethro?" Tony asked in all seriousness.

"No, Tony; that was betrayal and hurt; more than anger." Tim admitted much more quietly.

"Yeah. But, the two of you worked through it."

"Barely." Tim whispered

Tony's jaw dropped.

* * *

"Gibbs!" Abby exlaimed; absolutely horrified that he would even consider doing that to her.

"If you don't explain yourself; you're leaving me no choice." Gibbs firmly told her. "I'll give you a few more minutes to think about your answer. Stay here. I'll be back. Don't go anywhere."

As he got up from the table; heading out for fresh coffee; Gibbs looked over at Abby; to find her lost in her own thoughts; more unhappy than he' d seen her in two years. _Oh, yeah. Definately need to find out what's going on with her. Today._

* * *

For all of a minute Tony stared at Tim in silence. When he finally spoke; it was with disbelief: "But you salvaged your friendship with her!"

"No, I didn't. Gibbs did." Tim's quiet admission shocked Tony even further.

"Wait just a minute! Are you tellin me that the 'all forgiving Tim McGee' never forgave Abby?" Tony's voice was raised in shock.

"It wasn't like that, Tony." Tim answered in exasperation "It wasn't about not forgiving her. It was about self preservation."

Tony instantly thought back to the conversation he'd had with her about this very subject:

_"Tim won't talk to me unless Gibbs is there. Gibbs said Tim's afraid I'll ask him for more than he's able to give and he won't be able to say no unless Gibbs is there! What is that?"_

_"Self-preservation, Abbs. Probie has always had a real hard time saying no to you about anything. We all know this. We all also know that Gibbs has been pushing him to start doing what's best for himself; staying on him to not worry so much about everyone else for a change. Put the pieces together, Abby. Figure it out."_

"I get it. Hell; I even tried to explain that concept to her; two years ago. But you and Abby have a solid friendship; have for all this time; you can't fake something like that!"

"Only, because Gibbs talked me into giving her another chance, Tony. I didn't do it because I wanted to. I did it because Gibbs asked me to. Even said 'please'"

"Does Abby know this?"

"Whatta you think? Course not!" Tim exclaimed.


	5. Hidden Consequences

Abby realized she needed someone in her corner and someone to talk to. Gibbs had always been there for her before; Boss/father/protector. Very rarely had he ever been this angry with her and she didn't like it. Hell, even the Duckmister was pissed at her! The entire situation had snowballed out of control and Gibbs was her only chance of fixing this; heck; maybe even making it better that she could deal with on her own.

When Gibbs came back in to the squad room; she was ready to talk. "Gibbs, what I have to tell you; you're not gonna like; but, I know I need your help to fix things. Will you listen to everything I have to tell you; as a friend; not my boss; please?"

Gibbs had calmed down enough to feel nervous at where Abby seemed to be leading this conversation; the root cause of all this craziness was sounding ominous and Gibbs didn't like it. But, Abby was one of his surrogate daughters and it was obvious that she needed to talk and after all; he did need to hear the cause of everything; so it worked out.

"Yesh, Abby. I can do that." Gibbs told her.  
"Promise?"  
"Yes, Abby, I promise.  
"Pinky swear, promise?"  
"ABBY!"  
"Gibbs; I'm serious here!  
"Ok. Abby, I give you my word, I will listen as your friend and not your boss." Gibbs vowed.  
"Thank you."

Abby began to explain things to Gibbs and while the story kept coming; so did the growing disbelief and shock from Gibbs' brain waves. Somehow, her words and his shock met in the middle; and Abby was able to get everything off her chest; and miracle of all miracles; Gibbs' brain actually heard it all amidst the other stuff; her words had evoked.

With compassion in his eyes and in his heart; he stood up; gently pulled her to her feet and wrapped her in a hug as he told her; "You should have come to me before you said a word to Tim."

"I know, Gibbs; I'm so sorry! What am I gonna do?" Abby exclaimed.

"We'll figure something out, Abby. Calm down. "

* * *

Tony and Tim walked back to the office with their hands full of coffee for everyone. Tony's mind was on a roll; needing more answers.

"Okay, so it wasn't your idea to reconnect with Abby; but, you did it. And you've built on it from the ground up; honestly. so what would make her do something like this.?"

"I don't know, Tony. I don't have a clue." Tim said. in exasperation

"Wait; you two haven't done anything...?"

"Tony; the only thing we've done; is go out for dinner or hang out at her place or mine occassionally. We don't even go to bars; because I still don't drink. Hell, there was one night bought 2 months ago that proved I should never drink.

_Flashback_

_Abby: Come on, Tim; loosen up a little; a little wine won't hurt you.  
__Tim: Abby, you asked me to hang out with you tonight. We're here; my place with dinner and a movie was the deal. Wine was not included in the deal."  
__Abby; Come on; I know you've got a lot on your mind and you're upset with the crap from the case; just drink some and let it unwind you; okay?  
____Tim: Yeah; okay. maybe you're right."  
_Abby: Good. I'll even give you a back massage; help you work out the knots from all that stress you guys have been under."  
Tim: That would be really nice, Abbs; thank you."  
_Abby: Why won't you talk to me about what's eatin you about this case?"  
Tim: It's too hard to get through the day; if I bring it home with me. Let's not talk about it; okay?"  
Abby: No, I think you need to talk to someone and I wanna help; so talk to me."_

_End flashback_

Tim remembered telling her about the children involved in the case and the terrible things they had gone through and witness and how it made him literally almost sick to his stomach. He remembered the more he'd opened up to Abby that night; the more lost in the emotions of the case he'd gotten; but he'd at least managed to finally begin to relax and not be haunted by the faces of the children. Abby and he had cuddled into each other that night; he remembered that. She'd leaned into him to give him a hug and a kiss on the cheek and he'd grabbed hold of her hug and hadn't let go. He'd been lost in the need for an anchor that night; and had grabbed onto the only one he'd had in a while. The last thing he remembered was them cuddling on his couch; as his wine drunk brain finally allowed his exhaustion to take over.

"I remember waking up exactly as I had fallen asleep; Tony. Same spot; same everything. I'd slept so hard; I hadn't even moved an inch. When I managed to get my eyes opened; Abby was gone. She'd left me a note.

_Tim:  
Hope you feel better this morning. I'm glad you let me in to what's been bothering you.  
Please don't bottle things up anymore.  
See you at work.  
Abbs_

I remember being thankful she'd been there that night. I hadn't leaned on her like that in a while. Yeah, we talk; but not anything like we used to; I don't tell her everything, like I used to do." Tim admitted to a very quiet Tony.

"It's understandable, Probie." Tony let out; the cogs of his brain running at full speed; trying to put the pieces together.

As they guys returned to the squad room; still missing its key people; Tim kept his promise to his boss to go check in with Ducky when he got back. Entering Autopsy with Tony on his heels' wanting to stay in the loop; on every aspect of this; they found Ducky and Ziva engrossed in a challenging game of chess; cups of tea on the table waiting to be enjoyed.

"Ducky, I promised Gibbs I'd come see you; so I'm here." Tim volunteered.

Ducky blinked; his attention now broken from the game. As Ziva respectfully, also turned away from the game; willing to wait until the M.E. could return to it as well; both now focused their attention to the two young men in front of them.

"Timothy! How are you, young man?" Ducky exclaimed with enthusiasm enough for all of them.

"Ducky, I'm fine. Really. You can go ahead and check me over if you want." Tim offered; knowing the M.E. would not be happy until he had done just that."

Surprisingly enough, Ducky declined; explaining that if Timothy felt fine; then he was in no need of extra precautionary measures.

"Thanks, Ducky. I'm gonna get back to work now. I'm sure there's something up there I can find to do." Tim stated; needing to escape the suddenly seemingly suffocating air around him.

As they let him make his escape; Ducky, Ziva and Tony watched with concern on their faces. Tony was fairly sure he'd figured out what was going on; and if he was right; it just set his blood boiling. But, if he wasn't 100% right; he could only be concerned and sympathetic. Somehow, he needed to get to the truth.

* * *

Abby and Gibbs made their way to Autopsy; quietly; each lost in their own thoughts. As they entered Ducky's domain and saw Tony and Ziva there; but no Tim; Gibbs became concerned; while Abby felt relieved. Gibbs sought answers while Abby sought a hug from Ducky; and a private word with him.

"Ducky, I need to talk to you, please." Abby pleaded.

"Certainly, my dear; let's step into my office." the M.E. had not missed the mood change in Jethro. The Senior Agent was no longer boiling angry or even seething with it; he was now concerned; to say the least.

"Where's McGee?" Gibbs asked the room's occupants in general; while his eyes were locked on those of his Senior Field Agent's.

"Wanted some space, Boss. Said he was going back to his desk to find some work to do." Tony answered; not backing down from the stare Gibbs was giving him. "You just missed him, actually."

Gibbs nodded; looked around at their concerned faces and told them. "All right; back to work. Let's go."

As they trouped back up to the squad room; none of them spoke of the morning's events; it was abundantly clear it wasn't open for discussion. When they returned to their desks; to find Tim already working; a cold case laid open on his desk; his eyes steadily going from case file to computer screen; Gibbs could only grin. Yeah, this kid wasn't goin anywhere. His grin quickly faded; when he reminded himself of the battle ahead.

Once Tim McGee heard the details that had laid the foundation for Abby's seemingly bizarre behavior; there was no telling how the young man would react. But one thing was for certain. Abby's revelation that Tim couldn't bring himself to confide in Gibbs when it came to the cases that involved children; had opened Gibbs eyes. Tim was still putting others well being well-ahead of his own; and in this case; he'd be feeling and dealing with the consequences; albeit not all of them his own doing; for a very long time to come.


	6. The Crisis at Hand

The morning rolled on with no new case being called; and Gibbs had done nothing but contemplate this situation his team was facing. Abby had explained the situation to him. She had recounted the conversation she'd had with Tim on the night she was telling him about.

_Abby: Come on, Tim; loosen up a little; a little wine won't hurt you.  
__Tim: Abby, you asked me to hang out with you tonight. We're here; my place with dinner and a movie was the deal. Wine was not included in the deal."  
__Abby; Come on; I know you've got a lot on your mind and you're upset with the crap from the case; just drink some and let it unwind you; okay?  
____Tim: Yeah; okay. maybe you're right."  
_Abby: Good. I'll even give you a back massage; help you work out the knots from all that stress you guys have been under."  
Tim: That would be really nice, Abbs; thank you."  
_Abby: Why won't you talk to me about what's eatin you about this case?"  
Tim: It's too hard to get through the day; if I bring it home with me. Let's not talk about it; okay?"  
Abby: No, I think you need to talk to someone and I wanna help; so talk to me."_

_*************_

Abb's tears had been steadily flowing as she told Gibbs what he needed to hear:

_Tim talked to me that night; like he hadn't talked to me since before that whole nightmare with Jethro! He talked about the children involved in the case and the terrible things they had gone through and witness and how it made him literally almost sick to his stomach. the more he'd opened up to me that night; the more lost inside what he was feeling; he sounded. So I did what I could to help him through it; I got him to drink enough wine that he'd managed to relax; not seem so haunted; unwind. For the first time in over 2 years; he was leaning on me; like he used to; from down deep inside himself. He needed to let it out; to let go, Gibbs!_

_I leaned into him to give him a hug and a kiss on the cheek and he grabbed hold of me as I hugged him; it was like a drowning man holding onto an anchor. But, Gibbs' I had drunk a lot of wine too. The more Tim had talked about the horrors that were haunting him; the more we both drank. I know I can handle drinking; when I do it; but; that's because I always control how much and where and who I do it with. But that night, Gibbs; I got so wrapped up in trying to help him come back from where he was; I lost track of how much I was drinking; and how much I would remember. Not, to mention, what it would bring out in me!_

_"I don't realize what I'm doing when I'm blitzed; Gibbs; but I never forget what I've done when I wake up the next morning."_

"You're telling me that you two did more than cuddle and hug." Gibbs had stated the fact he knew she was getting to.

_"Yeah. And we never even talked about it again, Gibbs! After Tim apologised for getting wasted. He was ashamed of getting so drunk he couldn't remember half the night. And until now; I've had no reason to bring it backl up to him. I wasn't about to hurt him by telling him the details that would only humilate him more."_

"Abby, are you telling me; the absolute truth; both of you were too drunk to realize what you were doing; but since you have a higher tolorance for alchohol; you remember everything; while he remembers nothing?"

_"Yes, Gibbs, I am. We both just got too heavy into things. I was more drunk than he was; apparently. I would NEVER do something like that against his will! I'm not like that!"_

"I know, Abby. It's just gonna be really hard to get him to understand how this happened and the consequences that have come out of hiding on you both now." Gibbs soothed. "Just tell me you never lied to him about it."

_"No, Gibbs; like I said; we never talked about. it. I know this is really gonna knock his feet out from under him."_ Abby tearfully said.

"Abby; I know this is a lot for you to deal with. But, if you ever do something like you pulled on him Friday; again; you tear my team apart behind my back; because you don't come to me first: I will write you up; without even another warning; do you understand? ." Gibbs had promised.

_"Yes, Gibbs. I really am sorry."_

"I am not the one you should be apologising to."

* * *

While he'd witnessed first hand on at least one occasion; Abby's ability to get wasted and not realize what she was doing; how she regretted it the next day; Gibbs still couldn't fathom this situation and where it had landed these kids. His heart ached for Tim. His junior agent who he'd thought had finally been able to come to him with anything he needed to talk about; was still the agent who put the needs of others before his own. While he'd gotten much better at not taking that quality in himself to the extreme that he used to; apparently; he still did more than any of them had realized; well; except Abby.

Gibbs knew that Tim always held his family's tragedy in a respectful place. Anytime the young man thought anyone else said or even thought of saying something that would cause the Senior Agent to experience a flashback to that pain; Gibbs would see the side of the young man that few people outside his team did. Calm fury was not something often seen from Tim; so when it was witnessed or worse; experienced by the person on the recieving end; it wasn't easily forgotten.

To think that Tim would hold in his own emotional battles with the cases that involved kids because he felt unable to come to Gibbs; touched a chord in the Senior Agent's heart. Gibbs knew that Tim would certainly need the support of the team; most especially; those of his surrogate brother; uncle and father. First; Gibbs needed to have a talk with him. He could only hope no case would get in the way of them getting to call it a day at a reasonable time tonight.

Gibbs got his wish and azt 6 he told the team to call it a night. As the others left out; Tim was still steadily working on something; although what it could be; was anybody's guess. It was time to bite the bullet and let the cat out of the bag.

"McGee."

"Uh, Boss?"

"What are you still doing here?"

"Just finishing something up"

"We don't have a case."

"Cold case, Boss."

"It can wait, can't it?"

"Yeah, of course."

"Ok, call it a night. Come on; let's go get some dinner; I'm starving. My treat."

"Boss?"

"We need to talk. Come on; we can do it over dinner." Gibbs pushed with the tone that bordered on the request being an order.

As Tim left the squad room with Gibbs; he could feel the tension and worry building up.

_What the hell was going on?_


	7. The Whole Truth

_"We need to talk. Come on; we can do it over dinner."  
__What the hell was going on?_

* * *

The trip to both the parking garage and the diner; was made in complete; nerve wracking; tension building silence. Gibbs hadn't wanted it that way; but he'd been at a loss as to what to say to ease it; knowing he was about to drop a bomb on this kid. Finally, when they'd taken their seats and ordered their food, Gibbs broke through the waves of rising panic he sensed from Tim.

"you're really worrying yourself sick because I said we need to talk." Gibbs opened things up.

"It's not something you've ever actually said to me before; outside of work; unless it was about something I'd done, so."

"Yeah, I could see where this would send you thinking in that direction."

"But, this is about Abby, isn't it?" Tim asked "You got her to tell you what's really going on?" The worry and sense of doom radiated off the younger man.

"Yeah. Yeah, Tim; I did." Gibbs quietly admitted.

Tim's radar went off through the roof. The only time Gibbs called him Tim outside of work was when he had bad or seriously concerning news to tell him; or they were having a personal conversation where Tim was working through whatever was bothering him. They'd had a lot of those conversations in the last two years. Not near as many as Tim had needed. But that had been a decision the young man had stuck too. He would never let Gibbs have to try to help him through cases that involved young children; not after what the boss man had lived through and finally managed to learn how to live with.

"From the vibes I'm getting and the look on your face; it's not good." Tim observed worridly.

Gibbs took a second and thought back over the last two years;

It had been a long time since they'd had one of these conversations; with his help, Tim had gotten better at dealing with the tough cases that tore their hearts out. And thier conversations about Abby had dwindled down, too. After consistently asking for his guidence while rebuilding his friendship with Abby back up from almost zero, the young man sitting in front of him had been able to take the helm of that one by himself about six months ago. It had taken so long to get there; because Tim was always afraid of unnecessarily hurting Abby's feelings when he stuck to his guns about stuff. Gibbs had been his rock; steady, firm; bolstering both sides of the re-emerging friendship. It had only gotten rebuilt at Gibbs' request in the first place. But, once Tim had agreed to give Abby one more chance, the young man had put his whole heart into the effort; as Gibbs had known he would.

"That depends on how you look at it. So, I'm just gonna cut to the chase, after we eat." Gibbs told him.

"Boss, I ..." "Tim complained.

"I know. But, calm yourself down and eat something. Then we'll talk." Gibbs wouldn't back down.

Tim gave in; knowing he wouldn't win this fight.

After trying to calmly get through dinner; watching Tim barely eat two bites while moving the food around on his plate anxiously; Gibbs gave up and called for the waitress; asking that their orders be put in take out boxes and asking for coffee; he waited until they'd gotten their coffees before he once again opened the conversation.

"Okay?"

Tim silently nodded; his thoughts lost in horrorsville.

"Tell me what you're so afraid I'm gonna tell you."

"I dunno."

Something's running through your mind up there enough you're not even eating."

"Boss, it's hard to explain, can't you just tell me?" Tim's desperation was too much.

"Let's talk about the night you let Abby talk you into having some wine to relax."

"Boss, I told you about that."

"Yeah, you did. As I recall; though; you never would tell me exactly what the two of you talked about that night. You've yet to tell me what it was that had you so tied up in knots." Gibbs patiently explained.

"I don't understand why you can't let that go, Boss." Tim said in one of his rare moments of absolute 'out-there' honest admissions of frustration directed at Gibbs.

"Because, you never told me; but Abby did.

The look of absolute horror on his agent's face worried Gibbs. 'Relax, McGee. I understand why you didn't come to me. But, I wish you had. Maybe if you had come to me; I wouldn't have to tell you what needs to be said, here."

"So, whatever's behind Abby's craziness; is because I didn't come to you; it's because I went to her?" Tim asked; obviously trying to put the pieces together.

"You remember what happened that night?"

"I remember kissing her and then I remember waking up the next morning." Tim reminded him; only to turn white a split second later; as appaarently, his brain had fit all the pieces of the puzzle together. "We...? No! We're gonna.... Oh, no! Oh, God! How could I have been so stupid! Oh, God! Boss, I'm so sorry!" Tim got up and ran out of the diner, disappearing from sight.

Needing reinforcements; Gibbs quickly called Tony to get his rear end to the diner and help look for Tim. Even if he hadn't gone far; Tim obviously could use his big brother right about now. As he reached the packed parking lot while still ending the call to his Senior Field Agent; he scoured the area; even traversing the back alley of the diner; and back to the the parking lot; with no sign of Tim. A call to the younger agent went straight to his voice mail, and a continued vigilance proved futile; as there was still no sign of the young man some minutes later when Tony pulled up.

"Boss, I thought you said McGee had disappeared?"

"He has, DiNozzo!"

"Um, Boss?

"What is it, DiNozzo?

"He's sitting in your car."


	8. Consequences and Truths Revealed

_"He's sitting in your car."_

* * *

Relief washed through Gibbs; along wth a mental head slap for not thinking to check the car. "Tony, go talk to him. Then bring him back to my house. " Gibbs requested.

"On it, Boss." Tony's enthusiastic step up to the challenge of being big brother brought a tug of a smile to Gibbs' face. Tony drove back to Giibs' car while Gibbs wen back inside for a cup of coffee to go and thier dinners to go. Damn, he hadn't expected Tim to run out like that. Poor kid. He should have waited until they'd gotten to his house before he'd said anything to Tim. Well, hindsight wasn't helping right now. All he could do now was go home and try to help Tim from here.

Tony pulled up behind Gibbs' car, turned his own car off, got out and locked it before walking up to his Probie.

"Hey, Probie whatta ya doin sitin in the boss' car at a diner?" Tony feigned ignorant surprise.

"Tony. Gibbs called you." Tim advised him that he wasn't clueless.

"Yeah, he couldn't find you."

"I didn't mean to take off like that. Is he pissed?"

"What? No! You scared him, though. And we all know it's not easy to scare the boss, not nice either." Tony half-joked

"I didn't mean to." Tim lamented.

"Relax, he knows that. In fact, he was relieved when I told him I found you. I think he figured you'd rather talk to me right now than him." Tony admitted.

"Tony, I don't want to talk." Tim quietly stated with a strong current of apology.

"Sure, Probie. But let's get outta here at least, huh? C'mon, we can go catch a movie or something." the Senior Field Agent suggested.

"No, thank you, Tony, but no. I couldn't even focus on one right now if I wanted to." Tim admitted miserably.

"Well, at least come with me and you can tell me what's going on." Tony pushed.

Tim looked over at him for a long silent minute. _Why not, it's better than sitting here waiting for the axe to fall_. "Yeah, okay." Tim finally gave in as he got out of Gibbs' car. "Wait. What about Gibbs?"

"He's fine. He knows you're with me and he's a phone call away." Tony reassured his little brother.

"Okay." Tim answered with relief. He really didn't want to face Gibbs after running out on him like that. After putting the pieces together, the shame had come over him in a tidal wave and he'd done his best to outrun it, but of course, he hadn't succeeded.

The only thing he'd succeeded in running away from was the one person who'd bent over backwards to help in the last two years; help rebuild his friendship with Abby, help get used and even get comfotable with accepting the dog who'd once attacked him, since Abby had pressured him into taking him, helped him learn how to better channel his emotions to get him through the difficult cases they dealt with on a regular basis. and helped him figure out that it was okay to talk about stuff, even if Gibbs didn't; okay to let it out, to cry even, if needed. Yeah Gibbs had really changed since Tim had almost died two years ago.

Gibbs had even found a way to become more intune with his team, when they needed his ear and not his ire, when they needed a bit of slack and not more unachievable expectations and showing more concern when they were injured. And how had Tim repaid him; by running out on him when the guy had gone out of his way to break the news to him personally. Tim felt like crap for treating Gibbs that way, but between the realization that his dedication to keeping the man away from personal emotions at least from his youngest agent when it came to kids in their cases, and the sudden realization that he'd messed up big-time, had just been too much for him to swallow in one lump like that. It wasn't Gibbs' fault Tim wasn't yet a bigger man than that. The fault lie with Tim and he knew it.

Now, he was too embarrassed and humiliated to face Gibbs, too distraught and guilty to face Abby, and too full of self-loathing and disappoinment in himself, to be comfortable with keeping himself company. He was feeling better about Tony's offer already, as they drove. Tim was still miserable enough that he didn't pay attention to where they were going. The space he seemed lost in held his unseeing eyes as his mind tried to unjumble itself from the chaos it was currently in.

Tony looked at his little brother with concern. Whatever it was had to be as big as Tony had feared. Tim hadn't looked this lost and confused since he'd listened to Tony's heartfelt apology after the dog attack two years ago. As he'd watched from a step behind, Tim had steadily regained his feet and his sense of self-preservation and determination. The Probie had come a long way, but it had been a tough trip. Tony had known that Gibbs was also guiding the guy, but he, himself, had often double checked on the kid, reassured him that he wan't alone and could always ask Tony for help, no matter how much the Senior Field Agent continued to pick on him.

"Probie, talk to me. What did Gibbs tell you that has you looking like you just lost your best friend?" Tony asked with genuine concern.

"Tony, I'll tell you, all right, but I just can't right now." Tim stammered out.

"All right. No sweat, man. You just tell me when you're ready." Tony vowed as he pulled up in a driveway and shut the car off.

Tim suddenly looked up and out at their surroundings. "Tony, why are we at Gibbs'?" Tim asked accusingly. "I told you I don't want to talk right now." Tim said in growing anger.

"Relax, Probie, I'm just going in to check on the boss, he's not answering his phone." Tony said in self-defense.

"Oh. I'm sorry." Tim offered.

"No sweat." Tony answered back with a forgiving smile as he got out of the car and went inside.

Tim soon lost himself in his trough of problems, still trying to sift through it all and put it to rights. Once again, his eyes clouded over and lost focus. So lost in the misery he suddenly felt awash in, he didn't even realize tears were sliding down his face. He didn't even hear the car door quietly being opened, or realize that he was no longer alone.

Soon, the tears that had escaped had opened the door for the emotions that came with them, Tim was soon sobbing openly, his shoulders shaking from them. Suddenly, he was wrapped in two strong arms that were now anchoring him through this storm. Just as suddenly, there was a soothing voice in his ear,

_"It's okay, let it out. I know it feels like you did something awful, Tim. but you didn't. It's gonna be okay. Go ahead and get it out. You just remember, you didn't do anything wrong. okay?"_

Quickly harnessing his emotions, Tim's breakdown soon smothered itself out as he physically drew in a deep breath and slowly let it out while putting his tears away and trying to also put everything he was feeling back under wraps. As he calmed himself down, he sat back, wiped his eyes and looked over at his anchor, Now, thoroughly embarrassed, Tim quickly looked down at his lap but he couldn't stop the apology from flying from his mouth.

"I'm so sorry." the young man said with more apology radiating from his tone than the words themselves.

"What do you have to be sorry for?" Gibbs asked him calmly. Feeling relieved beyond measure that Tony had managed to get McGee here and that his Senior Agent had quickly given him the heads up; the bossman could only relish in the opportunity to help his agent through this.

Although, when he'd opened the car door and taken the driver's seat to wait out Tim's inability to talk about this; he'd been startled and upset to see the young man breaking down. Sure, he'd known that Tim would take the news hard, but he hadn't any idea that he'd take it as such a deeply bad slight against his own character. Knowing Tim as well as he did, he at least knew that this is where the tears and the emotional release was coming from.

"For running out on you at the diner. For getting myself into this mess. For getting Abby into this mess. For falling apart like a kid. For having to leave your team like this."

"Okay. Stop, right there. First of all, I'm not pissed at you for running out at the diner. I should have waited until we were here for that discussion. I apologise. I hit you with a lot at once and you reacted, my fault, not yours. Can you see that?' Gibbs asked in a quietly patient voice.

"Yeah." Tim answered tenatively.

"But?" Gibbs pushed, wanting Tim to be completely honest about it.

"But, you still didn't deserve for me to act that way." Tim explained in utter humiliation.

Gibbs smiled. Tim McGee and his manners. The kid would always use any slip in them as a reason to be pissed at hmself. "What did I tell you about sweatin the small stuff? Haven't we already figured this one out, you and I?" Gibbs reminded him. "I know, and you know that I do, that you head slap yourself worse than anyone else ever could, when you forget your manners in the heat of the moment." Gibbs tone radiated forgiveness. "You never cut yourself any slack."

Tim offered a smile of thanks as he verbalized his gratitude. "Thank you, Boss."

"Now, yes, you got yourself into this mess, but it wasn't deliberate and you damn sure didn't do it alone and that goes for you getting Abby into it. She put herself in this. So you need to stop trying to carry all of the blame here. It's not helping you and it won't solve the problem. Can you see that?" Gibbs asked patiently.

"I can see where your coming from." Tim hedged.

"But?" Gibbs pushed.

"Abby." Tim said with pain.

"What about her?" Gibbs asked carefully. He knew that even if Tim was still pissed at her, he wouldn't let the idea of her being hurt sit well on his conscience.

"She wont' be so easy to convince that it's not my fault." Tim warned, obviously expecting to recieve hell from the woman when this came up between them.

"Not _entirely_ your fault. And you're a harder sell to that fact than she is. She already knows it." Gibbs told him quietly.

"She does?" Tim's surprise was a gentle lift of humor in an otherwise emotional conversation

"Um mmm." Gibbs said in his own attempt to lighten the moment.

"Whew." Tim muttered with a grimace.

"That settled?" Gibbs asked, in obvious preparation for the next thing on his mind.

"Yeah. Thanks, Boss." Tim said, once again feeling guilty for Gibbs having to take time to talk him through something.

"Don't. Stop right there, Mcgee." Gibbs directed, he had seen the guilt slide across the young man's face.

Tim's expression was damn near comical. Clearly, he was askimg himself how Gibbs did that, and then just as clearly, he was reminding himself that he should know by now that Gibbs' did know how to read people better than most.

Gibbs couldn't help but grin. As he remembered the last two pieces of Tim's apology, his grin faded and he once again got serious.

"Yeah. Okay. Now that that's settled, whatta ya say we address the rest of this?" Gibbs asked in all seriousness and with just enough authority to make it known he wasn't gonna let up until they did talk about it. "I thought we already figured out that there's nothing wrong with letting it out when you're overwhelmed." Gibbs reminded him.

"Yeah, you helped me understand that." Tim admitted.

"Then what's the problem?" the boss asked.

"I dunno. It's hard to explain." Tim said.

"You know better than to think you're gonna leave it there with me. Put some effort into it." Gibbs stood firm.

"It's not something I feel comfortable talking bout, Boss." Tim said with fear creeping into his voice.

"Why not?" Gibbs pushed.

Tim silently looked out his window and remained quiet.

"Tim?" Gibbs continued to push. If he couldn't talk about it, it was something really serious and didn't need to be left alone to deal with it.

"I can't talk to you about it." Tim said in heartbreaking honesty.

"What would make it so hard to talk to me about it after everything we've talked through in the last two years?" Gibbs asked carefully, obviously confused.

"Because, if I tell you, you'll hate me, or at the very least, not think much of me any more." Tim admitted dejectedly.

"Tim, look at me." Gibbs directed with just enough authority to give Tim the kick he needed to do as he was asked. As he locked his eyes with those of Gibbs' he was almost able to reach out and touch the strength to get it off his chest, even though he knew it would hurt both of them and probably destroy the bond they'd built up over the last two years.

"It doesn't matter what you tell me, you are still a good person and still the damn fine agent whose devoted his life to this team and the people on it. That won't change. Now, let it out. Tell me what it is that's got you so bottled up you don't think you can talk to me about it?"

"I don't want this." Tim whispered as he looked away from Gibbs. He knew this was gonna hurt the man who would give his life to have his own family back.

"You don't want what, Tim?" Gibbs asked carefully, not wanting him to clam up on him.

With tears in his eyes and abject apology in his voice, Tim whispered: "I don't want to be a father, not like this."


	9. Unburying that Which Remains Hidden

_"I don't want to be a father, not like this."_

* * *

Leroy Jethro Gibbs felt the breath leave his lungs in a whoosh. He couldn't remember the last time Tim McGee had shocked him like this. What he could remember was the last time this young man had revealed an almost identical personal conflict that had him tied up in knots, despair and tears then like this one was doing now:

_FLASHBACK_

_Talk to me." .  
__"I'm not sure I can."  
__"Why not?"  
__"Because, Boss; what I'm thinking will probably change your opinon of me; maybe even enough you won't want me on the team anymore."  
__"And that possibility has tied you up in knots; has you thinking you can't talk to me?"  
__"Yeah."  
__"Nothin to be sorry about. You can't help how you feel bout something. But, you could give me a little more credit than that."  
__"It's not about not trusting your reaction. It's about me being different; not the same person you wanted on your team almost three years ago."  
__"Why don't you just tell me what this is about and we'll take it from there."_

_END FLASHBACK_

Wow. Tim actually believed that his genuine distress at being thrust into fatherhood without preparation would cause Gibbs to think less of him? Taking a minute to try to connect the dots, Gibbs was actually struggling to do so. He did know that Tim didn't deserve to suffer though a single minute of thinking he was right.

"Tim, look at me." Gibbs told him quetly.

As his hurting agent did as he'd bid him to do and turned to look at him, Gibbs couldn't help but realize that if the truth be told, Gibbs should have seen this underlying cause of the young man's breakdown coming. The only time Tim McGee couldn't talk to to Gibbs about anything was when it involved children. Tim had always held the highest respect for what was right and wrong when it came to his teammates and no matter how hard he tried, he could never completely put himself first in most things. Gibbs knew that a large part of Tim's distress was him feeling the way he did about this turn of events in his life in the face of Gibbs' own feelings on the subject of parenthood.

Even though his own family was gone, Tim knew how Gibbs valued the gift of having children as sacred and it wasn't that Tim didn't feel the same way about children; but this personal situation coming about in the manner that it had, colored his perception of the idea, as well as coloring his belief in his abilities as a person, to rise to the occasion. Yet, it wasn't stopping his agent from believing that Gibbs and his team mates would think the worst of him for this honest assessment of himself.

It was a pretty safe bet that Tim was also pretty worried about what Abby's reaction was going to be when she was told what Tim had figured out honestly for himself. Gibbs still remembered how torn up Tim had been the first time he'd struggled to put himself before her:

_FLASHBACK_

_I don't want to be responsible for hurting her more." _

_"What did I tell you while you were still in the hospital? You are only responsible for you. If what you need or don't need from Abby; hurts Abby; then Abby will have to find a way to deal with that. Tim, I'm not a shrink. But, I do know that if you keep letting your overbiding concern for everyone else around you; supercede your concern for yourself; not only will you compromise your physical recovery; but you'll wind up in the psych ward. And I'll be damned if I'm gonna sit back and watch that happen!"  
_

_"Sorry. I know, Boss. I'm not trying to but..."  
__"But, old habits are hard to break, I get that. Do it anyway! Stop worrying about anybody else except you!"  
__"I'll try, Boss."  
__"There's no 'try' to it, McGee! Just do it. I have faith in you. I know you can do it."  
__"That's kinda the problem, Boss."  
__"Why?"  
__"It leaves me in constant fear that I'm letting you down; disappointing you. Like not being ready to talk to her yet."  
__"Yeah. I can see where that would be real heavy burden to carry."  
__"So, stop carrying it!"  
__"Boss?"  
__"McGee; I never asked you to worry about letting me down; I don't worry about you letting me down. Why the hell should you? Just be youuself and do your job to the best of your ability and we won't have a problem. I thought you knew that by now?"_

_"It's hard to stop trying something like that. Especially when I don't think ..."  
__"Out with it. You don't think what?"  
__"Boss, I don't think I can even be friends with Abby anymore. It just hurts too damn much to even be around her."  
__"This isn't normally something I even care to discuss, McGee; but I'll make the exception; this time; because this is a pretty big decision and not one I would ever expect to hear from you. What is it that being around her affects you like that.?"_

_"It just replays everything that happened between us; it never goes away. It's like one of Tony's stupid movies stuck in replay in my head."  
__"Time. You need to give this situation time to work itself out. That won't happen until you take control of the whole thing..."_

_END FLASHBACK_

Gibbs realized he'd been lost in his thoughts for too long when he heard Tim's breathing hitch as he began to get lost in the panic he was feeling.

"Hey, McGee! Breathe in slowly, Good. Breathe out, slowly. Okay. Do it again. Again. Okay, now calm down." Gibbs carefully talked him back away from panic and back into normal breathing normal.

When Tim had his normal breath back, he closed his eyes and rested his head back against the seat in complete defeat. "Boss, just go ahead and say it, please." he begged.

"What is it you want me to say, Tim?" Gibbs asked in his quietly serious tone.

"Whatever it is you're gonna say. Your silence is worse than whatever you have to say, Boss." Tim confessed with worried honesty.

"Did you know before you figured it out at the diner?" Gibbs asked in a tone that was obviously leading up to something.

"No." Tim admitted. Silently, he dug a folded piece of paper out of his shirt pocket and unfolded to it's full size.

"Then, you've known for less than two hours. You can't possibly have thought long enough or hard enough about this, to have set your decision in stone." Gibbs advised him.

"It doesn't matter, Boss. That's what I'm trying to tell you." Tim said with complete conviction and resignation as he glanced over the paper in his hand.

"Because?"

"Because Abby doesn't love me enough to make this work. She's never hidden that fact. that I'm not what she wants" Tim replied bitterly as he got out of the car, leaving the paper in his seat as he walked into Gibbs' house.

Gibbs frowned as he watched his agent walk into the house. Letting out a sigh of frustration, he picked up the piece of paper Tim had left behind.

As he read it, he began to understand just how much thought Tim had given this, even before he found out he was going to be a father. Even with everything he'd been through and all the hard work he'd put into salvaging his friendship with Abby, apparently, he'd never stopped loving her, Apparently, Tim also never stopped feeling the pain that came from not feeling that love reciprocated. And that's where he'd gotten his unwillingness to be a father to Abby's child; from the pain he hadn't been able to purge from his heart.

As Gibbs looked once again at the words on the page, he couldn't help but sympathize where Tim was coming from:

**Water From The Moon**

_I've looked every where I can just to find a clue  
Oh, O, to get to you.  
And make you want me  
And I  
Run circles round the sun chasin' after you  
Oh  
But it's no use  
Can't You See  
That I'm  
Going outta my mind  
Trying to find a way to get through to you.  
Oh.  
But, you don't know how hard I've tried  
And I've tried  
And I've tried  
Whatta I gotta do?_

_Do I gotta get water from the moon  
Is that what I gotta do  
To make you love me  
make you love me  
Do I gotta turn the sand into the sea  
Is that what you want from me  
I've done everything that I can do  
But get water from the moon._

_I reach high up in the sky  
Try to steal the stars  
Oh  
To win your heart  
But even that's not enough  
And i  
Search every book and novel  
Just to find some words  
oh  
To touch your world  
And get some love outta you  
I've already given all I can give  
And I don't  
Don't know what's left to try_

_And I tried  
And I tried  
And I've tried  
Whatta I gotta do?  
Do I gotta get water from the moon  
Is that what I gotta do  
To make you love me  
make you love me  
Do I gotta turn the sand into the sea  
Is that what you want from me  
I've done everything that I can do  
But get water from the moon_

_Love me  
How do I make you love me  
How do I make you see  
That I'm  
Goin' outta my mind  
And I tried  
And I tried  
And I've tried  
Do I gotta get water from the moon  
Is that what I gotta do  
To make you love me  
make you love me  
Do I gotta turn the sand into the sea  
Is that what you want from me  
I've done everything that I can do  
But get water  
Water from the moon.... __Celine Dion__

* * *

_

Allowing himself a minute to stop and think, Gibbs closed his eyes in a moment of frustration. He absolutely no intention of letting Tim harbor any misconceptions about anyone on the team judging him for any of this. There would be no judgements or heads would roll. He remembered Tim's plea for help in talking to Abby before, when it had affected Tim this seriously, because he'd kept to his guns.

_FLASHBACK_

_first; talk to her; get that out of the way."  
__"Yeah. I think you're right."  
__"I know you can do this. You know you can do this. The hard part is gonna be doing it in a way that puts what you need or want above anything else."  
__"Boss, can I ask you..."  
__"Ask."  
__"Will you be here."  
__"When?"  
__"While I talk to her?"  
__"You want me here, while you talk to Abby?"  
__"Please?"  
__"What are you afraid of?"  
__"I'm not sure."  
__"Makes sense."  
__"Boss, I don't know if I'm afraid I won't be able to do this without going back to caving in to doing things her way or ..."  
__"Hurting her too much; like you've been driving yourself crazy worrying about ." Gibbs finished for him.  
__"Yeah."_

_END FLASHBACK_

_

* * *

_

Getting out of the car and heading into the house, Gibbs remembered what he'd told this young man when he'd been full of doubts about the choice he was making to stand up for himself_:_

_"Tim!"  
"Boss?"  
"There is no 'have to'. If you're not ready to do something; don't do it." _

Breathing out a huge sigh as he returned his mind to the present, Gibbs entered the house, intent on finding his suffering agent. As he entered the living room, he found both of his surrogate sons silently watching television with obviously faked enthusiasm. Catching Tony's eye, he motioned for him to join him and turned to go into the kitchen. As he busied himself fixing a pot of fresh coffee, Gibbs heard Tony's footsteps and turned to ask him:

"He say anything to you when he came in?"

"No. He just went to the john and came back to plop down where he's still at." Tony admitted.

"All right, Tony. Thanks. Go check on Abby for me." Gibbs requested. "And then go home and get some sleep. And unless we have a case, you can come in at 9."

"Thanks, Boss." Tony replied as he slipped out. He knew that if he let Probie know he was leaving, Tim wouldn't have stayed to let Gibbs helo him work this through. As long as they had been outside, it had been obvious that some progress had been made in getting Tim to open up and Tony wasn't gonna mess with that. He also knew that Tim had been confiding in Gibbs steadily and in complete trust and faith, over the last two years and he wasn't gonna mess with that either.

* * *

As Tony pulled up at Abby's, he could only hope that she was doing better than Probie. Knocking on her door, he was surprised to find her opening it almost immediately.

"Tony! What's wrong? Why are you here?" she asked in immediate concern.

"Just checkin on you, Abbs. Bossman and I both wanted to make sure you're doin okay." Tony admitted as he stepped inside her apartment.

"Oh, Tony!" Abby cried as she threw herself into his arms and burst into tears.

"Abbs, calm down and talk to me." Tony encouraged as he wrapped his arms around her to keep them both from falling out in the floor.

"Gibbs didn't tell you?" Abby pulled back, sniffling away her tears, and looked into his eyes with disbelief.

"No, Abbs, Gibbs didn't tell me anything. Just told me to come check on you." Tony admitted.

"Wait. Why would he tell you to do it and not come himself?" Abby asked in confusion.

"He's kinda busy right now." Tomy shared.

"Busy?" Abby asked in borderline hurt.

"Yeah, Abbs. Bossman's busy. Matter of fact, he's been busy ever since he left work." Tony promised.

"Busy with what, Tony? His boat" His bourbon"" Abby was really feeling stung now, _Why didn't Gibbs come check on her himself after the day she'd had, if he was so damn worried about her?"_

"Abby!" Tony threw his best authoritative voice out there to get through to her.

"What?" she turned on him with her own vehemence.

"He's busy, Helping Tim." Tony admitted, hoping she would fully understand.

"Helping,,,, OH! Right! he did promise me he would talk to him for me." Abby quietly remembered.

"Abby, what the hell is going on?" Tony demanded, fed up with being kept in the dark.

"Oh, Tony." Abby groaned. "C'mere. Sit here with me and I'll explain everything." Abby vowed as she sat next to him and proceeded to tell him everything.

* * *

When Tony had gone, Gibbs returned to the living room to find Tim asleep on his couch, his torso the only part of him that was stretched out. Gibbs smiled as he picked up the young man's legs at the knees and moved them over to the couch, As he took Tim's shoes off, and covered him with a blanket, he felt the paternal urge to smooth his hair back out of his face and followed up on it. Turning out the overhead light, Gibbs headed to the kitchen for a cup of coffee before he returned to the living room to sit with his agent for a while, just to make sure that his emotional break down from earlier in the evening, didn't follow him into his sleep.


	10. Manning Up Only To Find Out

Morning found Tim waking up reluctantly. In an untypical move, he curled himself up and remained huddled under the blanket that he somehow came to be under. He remembered everything from last night and was unwilling to face the day. He'd already gotten knocked down enough lately. Today would not go well if he had to climb back into that ring.

Gibbs watched from his chair next to the couch, as Tim woke up, took a minute to stretch and immediately curled up into a ball in obvious reluctance to face the world. Silently, he left him alone and headed into the kitchen to fix breakfast. No matter how defeated the young man felt, he still needed to eat. After he set breakfast out on the table along with fresh coffee, he went back to the living room to put his foot down, make his agent get up and face whatever was coming with the day. He was brought up short by the sight of Tim no longer huddled ion the couch, but standing at his french doors looking out over his back yard, seemingly lost in his thoughts. The young man's shoulders were slouched with the weight of his thoughts.

"Hey." Gibbs quietly but firmly broke through Tim's thoughts. "Breakfast." As he turned to head back to the kitchen, he caught Tim's movement away from the doors out of the corner of his eye. As they sat down to breakfast together, the older man couldn't help but scrutinize his agent, needing to know how he was doing. It looked like he'd slept pretty well. Maybe talking things out with Gibbs had lifted the weight off his shoulders enough to make the difference. The uncomforable silence dragged on between them bringing more signs of embarrassment and misery to Tim's eyes as each minute that passed. Not only were his eyes full of what he was feeling, but he was restlessly shifting in his seat and merely pushing his food around on his plate, not eating a single bite. Finally, overcome with frustration, he set his fork down and pushed his plate aside in favor of his coffee cup; something he could anchor his restless hands around.

"Talk to me." Gibbs encouraged, hating to see him struggle like this.

"I already told you everything I can." Tim put out there.

"Okay. So, what's the problem?" Gibbs was confused.

Tim looked up at him at his question with disbelief written all over his face.

"What am I missing?" Gibbs pushed.

"I told you I need to leave the team. You haven't said anything about it. Does this mean you're changing your mind and accepting my resignation?" Tim asked timidly.

"No. I already told you; you're not leaving us." Gibbs reaffirmed quietly. "Just because you think you have to, doesn't make it so."

"What about..." Tim started to ask.

"Doesn't matter." Gibbs cut him off.

"Boss..."

"McGee! It. Doesn't. Matter." Gibbs insisted in his no nonsense tone.

"Yes, Sir." Tim said in all seriousness.

"McGee!" Gibbs bit out.

"No, I get it, Boss, I do. But, I'm not sure." Tim defended himself.

"Not sure of what?" the bossman pushed much more calmly.

"Abby." they both said together, neither of them smiling.

Tim suddenly got up, pressurized like a cork out of a wine bottle; obviously still stressed out. As he took himself over to the sink, reaching out to hold on with both hands, his breathing becoming ragged.

"McGee?" Gibbs got up and stepped over to his agent to make sure he was okay and not slipping into a panic attack.

"I'm okay." Tim struggled to get out as his unexplained fear continued to climb and attempted to take over his thoughts.

"No. You're not. Look at me." Gibbs directed firmly, seeing the need for his more forceful tone coming.

As Tim turned to look at his boss, Gibbs was shocked at the fear residing in his eyes.

"Talk to me. This is more than you worried about Abby. What is it?"

Tim shook his head slightly and moved off away from the sink, on into the living room and opened the french doors in a hurry, launching himself out onto the back porch, pulling in large breaths of fresh air. Sitting down, in an attempt to calm himself down, he was surprised to suddenly have a comforting hand squeeze his shoulder and another one hand him a paper bag to breathe into.

Several tense minutes later Tim had his breathing under control and the emotions that had driven the episode had been put back under wraps. Feeling he was just coming back from a different world, Tim looked around him trying to regain his bearings. Seeing Gibbs patiently waiting with concern on his face made Tim feel bad. Before he could apologise, Gibbs asked him:

"Okay now?"

"Yeah. I'm okay, thanks to you." Tim said with open gratitude.

"Good. Now, tell me what's runnin' through that brilliant mind of yours that isn't letting you even eat breakfast." Gibbs directed firmly.

"I don't wanna do this." the young man said with obvious guilt.

"Tim, no one is gonna judge you for that." Gibbs promised him solomnly.

"But I have to do it." Tim told him with the conviction that it was the right thing, the only thing to do.

"Okay. I get that. Just so we're clear; is this what you're so afraid of?" Gibbs felt the need to keep pushing. Somehow, he knew there was more here.

"I'm not really sure, Boss." Tim admitted.

"So, you need to slow that brain of yours down and take things one step at a time. Obviously, you're trying to solve everything that's running through it right now and that's not working for you." Gibbs strongly advised him.

"Don't know if I can," Tim answered. "Been a long time since I could do that."

"I know.. Let's start with the first thing that you think of when I ask you what's on your mind. And we already know you're worried about Abby's reaction, so for the moment, discount that worry." the bossman directed.

"The fact that you haven't said anything yet." Tim carefully admitted.

"About?" Gibbs pushed, unsure of what it was exactly Tim was looking for.

"Boss, I told you I was scared that you'd think less of me for not wanting this and you have yet to deny that you do." Tim finally put out there in total exasperation.

"McGee. Why would I think less of you when I've been pushing you to be true to yourself, to put yourself first?" Gibbs was confused.

"Why wouldn't you after what happened to your family?" Tim doggedly pushed back.

"Apples and oranges." the older man quietly answered him.

"We're still talking about a child." his agent just as quietly replied, painfully pushing Gibbs to see where he exactly he was coming from.

"You do what you feel is right. No one; I repeat, no one, has the right to judge you for that. That includes me." Gibbs told him in his best authoritative tone.

"That's not what I'm asking you, Boss." Tim said in defeat, having already figured out he'd been right and Gibbs did think less of him now.

"Tim. it would take a hell ova lot more than you being honest with yourself when backed into a corner like you have been, for me to think less of you." Gibbs vowed.

"So you don't..." Tim pushed.

"I don't think any less of you not wanting this pushed on you just because I lost my own child." Gibbs promised him with quiet conviction.

The relief that washed over Tim's face was so blatant, it seemed to literally erase the stress that had surrounded the young man since he'd woken up that morning. It was at that moment that Gibbs realized just how important not losing any standing with Gibbs was to this guy. Why hadn't he realized it before?

Seemingly renewed in spirit, Tim smiled in such relief, Gibbs could only smile back at him as he watched the young man head back into the kitchen and dig into his breakfast. Gibbs followed back into the kitchen and joined him at the table, also working on his breakfast.

An hour later had both agents heading out the door for the office, the silence between them now, much more relaxed, They'd already discussed that Tim didn't have to face Abby alone at elast for the time being and that his unwillingness to be a father could be kept just between them. That had seemed to lift that last of the weight off Tim's shoulders. The young man was actually beginning to look like his old self again. Gibbs had even allowed them to start the day off late. Here it was ten in the morning already and they were just heading in. The fact that no active case had come in had helped.

Once in the squad room. Tim got right to work checking his emails and "To Do" list from other departments. Gibbs headed down to check on Abby. Tony had called him to report that she was fine. He'd left her place late, staying until after she'd fallen asleep. Walking into the lab, Gibbs was surprised to find no music playing. Looking around him. Gibbs was unclear where his lab rat was at the moment. Turning to leave because he didn't see her, he froze when he finally did see her, huddlled in the corner by her window, staring up at the light of the outside world. Something was definately wrong.

"Abby?" Gibbs tried to break through whatever she was thinking about.

"Gibbs!" Abby cried as she came back to the present and threw herself into his arms.

As he wrapped his arms around her to keep them from falling over, he felt her shoulders shaking with the strength of her sobs."Abby, what's wrong?"

"Itwasafalsealarm." she sputtered through her sobs.

"Abby, calm down." Gibbs sternly directed. "You need to calm down. It's not good for you or the baby for you to be this upset."

Abby struggled to calm herself down. She was heartbroken. Even though this hadn't been planned and she had a pretty good idea that Tim's reaction had been bad, the news she'd been handed this morning was crushing. To distract herself from it, she decided to ferrett out what she could from Gibbs.

"Tony said you talked to McGee last night," Abby said when she'd stopped crying. "Did you tell him? How did he take it?" she pushed.

"Abby. First, you tell me what it is that has you so upset." Gibbs redirected the conversation. "Tell me again, only this time slower."

Abby looked away, suddenly feeling less than confident in Gibbs' presence. How would he take this?

"Why won't you tell me?" Abby pushed for own answers.

"Abby!" Gibbs voice gained in strength and volume, serious signs she was pushing his limits.

With her voice full of sorrow and regret, Abby told him: I found out this morning that it was a false positive. I'm not pregnant."

Hearing the sharply indrawn breath from behind them, Gibbs turned around to see Tim standing there in shock, his face white and his knuckles getting close to translucent. As Gibbs turned to step over to his agent, the young man locked eyes with him for a long second, before the young man turned and disaapeared.


	11. Figuring Things Out

"_I found out this morning that it was a false positive. I'm not pregnant_."

* * *

As Tim slipped into the stairwell as quietly as his racing heart and rising anger allowed, he quickly came to a dead stop with his back against the wall, forcing himself to calm down.

Hurting for both these kids, Gibbs quietly listened for the tell-tale sounds of pounding feet on the stairs. Hearing none, he realized Tim had stopped just inside the stairwell door, probably struggling to pull himself together. Well, he'd give him that. Turning back to Abby, he found her quietly crying, tears flowing down her face.

"You didn't tell him?" she whispered in an accusing tone.

"I told him." Gibbs corrected her quietly.

"Then what was that?" Abby exclaimed.

"Abby, calm down. We'll talk about this later. After work." Gibbs said as he continued to look at her with the Gibbs stare that told her to get her mind back on the job.

"Okay." she quietly conceded, knowing she needed to do as he directed. She needed to get her mind off of what wasn't meant to be.

Gibbs watched her pull herself together; nodding his satisfaction when she smiled at him, kissed his cheek, and turned back to her work. As he headed out of the lab, he passed the elevator and quietly opened the stairwell door, fully expecting to find Tim sitting there pulling his own self together. Surprisingly enough, the stairwell was empty.

Taking himself back to his desk, hoping Tim had done the same thing, he was once again surprised to find no sign of him. In fact, Tim's computer had been shut down and his backpack was missing, too. He probably left me a note, at least. Gibbs thought as he quickly checked his desk, his phone and his email. Sure enough, there was an email waiting for him from his wayward agent.

_"Boss,_

_Had to get away. If you need to write me up for it; I understand.  
__I put in for some time off, hoping you'll understand._

_Tim._

Yeah, Gibbs understood. What he didn't understand is where his Senior Field Agent was at the moment. Looking over at Ziva's desk, he was disturbed to find that she wasn't there either. Looking carefully, he did notice a note on both desks. On closer inspection, both notes said. "Lunch" on them. Doubtful of the timing, he dug out his cell phone and called Tony.

"Boss?" came Tony's cautious answer which immediately raised the red flag for Gibbs.

"Tony, McGee with you?" Gibbs went straight for the jugular.

"Uh, yeah, Boss, that's right." Tony said cryptically.

"Where are you?" Gibbs demanded.

"Right outside, bench." Ton continued to be quiet, cryptic and hopeful, obviously, that Gibbs would come get involved. Obviously, something was wrong, worse than Gibbs thought.

"You keep him there, I'll be right out." Gibbs directed.

"Sure." Tony said as he quickly ended the call.

A short three minutes later had Gibbs walking toward his entire missing team. Ziva stood next to Tim as she steadfastly looked at him, maybe trying to get him to open up, but with no success. He did offer her a slight nod as she squeezed his arm and left his side to walk back to where Tony was standing, closer to the bench. Seeing Gibbs, she kept walking until she'd reached him as he came closer.

"Gibbs, I cannot get him to talk to me, but something is definately wrong." she told him with concern.

"It's okay, Ziva. I'll talk to him. You and Tony go ahead and go to lunch. Why don't you try to get Abby to go with you?" Gibbs suggested.

"I will see if she wants to go with us." Ziva replied.

"No, Ziva. This time. don't take no for an answer." Gibbs directed calmly but with enough twist in his tone that it was obviously a request and not an order.

"Of course, Gibbs." Ziva said with a look of determination before she turned to Tony and together, they headed back inside to get Abby for lumch.

Tim's back remained ram-rod straight and obviously tense. As he looked out over the water, his eyes never moved and for that matter, no part of his body did either. If Gibbs hadn't known him, he could've passed for a statue.

Wanting to minimize this situation for the time being and let things settle down so his agent could think about things from a calm perspective, Gibbs decided to give him an easy out.

"Tim. I got your email and your request for time off. You're right, I do undestand. I want you to go hang out at my place until I get home. You need to be left in peace and no one will look for you at my house. I want a chance to talk to you after work tonight."

Tim turned and looked at his boss in shock.

Gibbs smiled. "Yeah, I know. But I also know that this isn't over for you and you need to talk about it. I'm willing to listen. Tonight. Now. Go on, go to my place and relax. Make yourself at home. Just lock the door." Gibbs directed with a pat to his agent's shoulder, before he turned and headed back inside before Tim could object.

* * *

Six that night found Abby cornering Gibbs, determined to talk to him. "Gibbs, it's after work, Talk to me, please!"

"Abby, It's like I told you. I did tell him." Gibbs told her as he walked out to his car.

Walking beside him, Abby was quick to keep up with him so she could keep talking with him. "Then what was that earlier today and why did he take the rest of the day off?" Abby demanded. "Is that why he's taking the rest of the week off, too?"

"Abby, it's none of your business when someone else takes time off. As far as his reaction to what he overheard in your lab; that's something you'll have to talk to him about; when he's ready to talk to you." Gibbs directed.

"Gibbs!"

"Abby!You both have a lot to think about and digest. Give it time. Give him some space. He'll talk to you when he's ready." Gibbs insisted. "Go home and get some rest, be back here on time in the morning". Gibbs directed.

"Gibbs!" Abby pushed demandingly. "I need to talk to him. I need to put this to rights between us."

Gibbs sighed and dug out his phone. Hitting the speed dial for TIm, he waited to hear his agent pick up the phone.

"Boss?" Tim's cautious voice answered.

"Hey, McGee. you up to talking to Abby?" Gibbs got right to the point.

Knowing that Abby was pushing her way into this, Tim wanted to take care of it right away. He needed this put to rest.

"Sure, Boss." Tim replied.

Handing Abby the phone as he set it on speakerphone, Gibbs waited and determindly listened to both sides, needing to know exactly what was going on with both of them. If he was gonna be able to talk to Tim about this, he'd need to know what was said between them and this way, Tim wouldn't have to repeat anything.

"Timmy." Abby said in concern.

"Abby, I asked you a long time ago not to call me that anymore. " Tim said with obvious aggravation.

"You're right. I'm sorry. Are you okay?" the lab rat kept going through her questions, wanting to get them all out before she was shut down.

"Yeah. Abby I'm fine. You?" Tim conceded. There was no point in dragging this out.

"I'm good. I was just worried about you after the way you took off this morning." Abby explained.

"You took me by surprise, Abby. I'm fine now. Don't worry bout me." Tim pushed her to accept what he was saying.

"Tim! We need to talk about this!" she pushed.

"No. Abby, we don't. I need this to be put to rest, please. Don't push me." Tim

"Tim!" Abby continued to push.

Gibbs had heard enough. He raised his eyebrows at her in his typical message sending method and she conceded.

"All right, Tim. You promise you're okay?"

"Yes, Abby. You?" Tim had to make sure even though he didn't want to talk about it, he did care that she was okay.

"Yeah. disappointed but okay." Abby admitted.

Silence on the other end of the phone gave Gibbs pause for concern. Abby obiously felt the same way because she was the first to something while Gibbs had waited for Tim to speak.

"Tim?"

"Yeah. Abby. I'm hear. Listen, I've gotta go now, got something in the oven I need to take care of, all right? I'll talk to you later." Tim said.

"Oh. Okay." Abby gave up. "Take care, Tim." as Abby dejectedly hung up, she handed Gibbs the phone and started to walk away toward her own car.

"Abby!" Gibbs called her back as he put his phone in his pocket.

"Gibbs, you were right, he needs time. I"ll leave him alone." Abby finally admitted as she turned back to look at him.

He walked up to her, looked her in the eye and kissed her on the cheeck. "Good girl." he told her before he turned and headed back to his own car.

* * *

When he got home, he immediately smelled dinner on the table, which was a shock to Gibs. Walking into his kitchen, he found steaks and baked potatos steaming and ready to be eaten. Suddenly speechless, Gibbs could only stare at his agent.

"What? You told me to make myself at home." Tim defended his actions.

"This is great, McGee! I had no idea you would think to make dinner, like this." Gibbs acknowledged gratefully.

"It's the least I could do, Boss." Tim conceded.

"For what?" Gibbs asked.

"For you helping me through all this crap. For you putting up with it all, and for you still not letting me quit on myself." Tim admitted with gratitude.

"Glad you understand that last part so well, son. Now. did you mean what you said to Abby a few minutes ago?" Gibbs pushed, wanting to get this out of the way.

"About me being okay? Yeah. I am now. But, if you don't mind, I still would like the time off." Tim said hopefully.

"So long as you understand that it's not a license to dwell on this." Gibbs directed.

"No, it's not, it's time I need to think and breathe _withou_t having to dwell on it." Tim explained.

"What happens when you come back to work?" Gibbs needed to know."

"Hopefully, everything will be back to normal." Tim admitted.

"So, this time off is because you can't be at work right now?" Gibbs asked.

"Yeah." Tim sighed in frustration.

"There's nothing wrong with being this honest with yourself. You need the time to get your head back in the game, that's fine. Just don't use it to build up an exuse to leave."

Tim looked everything but surprised.

"You were thinking about it." Gibbs acknowledged with his usual incredible perception.

"Yeah. I was." Tim admitted quietly.

"McGee, you're right, you need this time to get your head on straight. This needs to stop. You figure out how to make this work, or you go ahead and transfer." Gibbs demanded obviously getting pissed.

"Yes, Boss." Tim said dejectedly.

"Doesn't mean I won't listen if you still need to talk. But, either way, figure this out once and for all."

"Okay. Enjoy your dinner, Boss." Tim said as he slipped out of the kitchen and headed for the door.

"McGee!" Gibbs called.

Tim headed back into the kitchen, putting his coat on as he went. "Boss?" he asked when he was eye to eye with the man again.

"Where the hell you goin'? "

"Home." the answer came like it shouldn't have had to be asked.

"Why? Didn't you cook enough for the both of us?" Gibbs asked dryly.

"Wel,, yeah, but..." Tim hedged.

"Just because I want you to give yourself a kick in the ass and get your head on straight doesn't mean I'm kicking you out of the house, McGee. Take your coat off and sit down! Dinner's gettin' cold." Gibbs told him with a grin.

"Thanks, Boss."

"And McGee?"

"Boss?"

"You'll figure it out. I have faith in you." Gibbs offered.

"Thanks, Boss."

* * *

_One week later:_

Everyone on the team was at their desk even before 7 that morning, each ready to face the day. The week without McGee had been thankfully, quiet. Then again, that had only served to keep them reminded of his absence, as they remained at their desks doing paper work and cold cases. His absence had been less than comforable for them. No one had said anything about it, somehow knowing that the subject was off limits.

Abby had bounced back to her normal self by the end of the week, with just a hint of a problem that seemed to be bothering her. After Tony and Ziva had taken her out every night after work, things between them had returned to normal and all was well with the team. Now, all they needed was their Probie back and they could only hope that would go just as smoothly.

Tim had been thr first to arrive that morning. He'd wanted it to be that way, wanting to be settled into his workstation before the rest of them came in. Gibbs had been the next one in and had immediately stopped at Tim's desk to look him over. He hadn't seen him since that night Tim had cooked dinner after work. They hadn't even spoken since then and Gibbs was concerned. Did Tim feel pushed away? There was a time when the young man would have come and talked with Gibbs about anything.

"McGee." Gibbs quietly greeted his agent, relieved the others hadn't arrived yet.

"Boss." Tim greeted back.

"Everything okay?" the older man asked.

"Everything's fine, Boss." Tim promised.

"You sure?" Gibbs pushed.

"I'm sure. Boss. Thanks."

"You talk to Abby yet?" bringing up the most important elephant in the room. Gibbs waitied impatiently for the answer.

"No. Not yet." Tim admitted.

"I suggest you do that before it's time to start work." Gibbs told him in that tone that made it anything but a suggestion.

"On it, Boss." Tim said as he headed to the back elevator.

"McGee?" Gibbs called after him.

"Boss?" Tim turned to look at him.

"Welcome Back!" Gibbs offered.

"Thanks, Boss." Tim smiled and headed down to see Abby.

When he got to the lab, he walked in quietly, not wanting to disturb her. Abby felt a presence behind her and turned around quickly. Immediately, she picked up the remote to her music player and hit the button that brought silence to the room.

"McGee." she said cautiously,

"Abby. How are you?" Tim asked just as cautiously.

"I'm fine. You?" she was hurt that he hadn't called or even emailed her in the entire week he'd been out. He must really be pissed at her and just wasnt' being honest about it.

"Abby, can we just stop dancing around each other and get to the point? "I'm sorry if you're upset wtih me for some reason. I can tell you are. Whatever the reason, I'm sorry." Tim genuinely offered.

"McGee, you didn't call me or email me for an entire week. So either you lied when you said you were okay or you lied by omission when you said you were okay but didn't tell me you were pissed at me!"

"What? Wait a minute! Just because I took the week off to get my head back on straight and figure some things out for myself, you assume I did it because I was pissed at you?" Tim asked incredulously.

"No! your silence led me to that conclusion." Abby defended herself.

"Abby, you need to rework your theory! I'm sorry if my not contacting anyone here for the week hurt you, but it wasn't about you." Tim explained.

"So, you're not pissed at me?" Abby asked doubtfully.

"No, Abby. What's done is done. We both need a completely clean slate." Tim answred her honestly from his heart. Gibbs' words rang in Tim's head:

_This needs to stop. You figure out how to make this work, or you go ahead and transfer_

"What are you thinking about?" Abby asked in concern.

"Something Gibbs said to me last week before my week off started." Tim admitted.

As he repeated Gibbs' words to her, Abby took them in and let them sink in. She was just as much to blame, if not more than Tim had been, why would Gibbs have said that to him and not to her? Well, no matter, it did apply to both of them and she knew it. What's more, Tim needed to know that she knew it.

"Don't worry, McGee. I accept the responsibility and what he said to you goes for me too. I know it does. I promise it'll be okay. We'll be fine working together. I promise."

"I know, Abby. I know. But, thank you." Tim said as he kissed her cheek and headed out, needing to get back to his desk.

Abby smiled. She had her friend back and he wasn't going anywhere.

All was right with the world, once again.


End file.
